Well, history repeated itself and I was able to obtain a copy of the lost page in my 1998 annual Christmas letter, thanks to my mother. That's the way mothers are . . . . they never throw away anything their kids do! So my collection is complete . . . again.
When I originally thought about putting my letters into book form, I envisioned just inserting each year "as is." But, I soon began to realize that I needed to revisit each letter and sort of flesh them out and, as I said before, omit some of the mundane (to others, not me) things about personal happenings of the years and get to the essence of each letter. This became even more important when I decided to put it in blog form. Another factor was, is, that my earlier writings were a bit more elementary in form even to my untrained eye. I think I've gotten better as the years have gone by.
I started on my 1998 letter a couple of posts ago talking about the value of time and, having found the lost page, I have one more thing I want to say about that. In addition to my letters being evidence of how very busy my life is and how my time is filled to the brim, I talked about my son in the last paragraph of that lost page:
"What about (my son)? He finished his senior year at Bruce High School with honors. He has said it was the best year of his life (he'll probably say that about some other years, too.)" [And he most definitely has.] "He lived with a dear friend [name omitted] while he finished after we moved and she can never know just how much her hospitality meant to him and to us. He received a lot of recognition for his musical abilities and in fact started at Northwest Mississippi Community College on full music scholarship, instrumental and vocal. It just amazes us the ministry God has given him in music. He even got to audition for Ace Cannon! Speaking of ministry, he accepted his call into the ministry this past summer, and this may change the direction he goes as far as college is concerned. He will still have a major focus on music, especially as a vehicle to further his preaching ministry. Pray for him as he decides what he and God wants to do with his life. He became a published author this year for his poem "Precious Time". He continues to write music, songs, and poetry prolifically. We are so very proud of him. . . ." I could not possibly talk about time without sharing this poem with you. . ..
Precious Time By T. Delbert Tritsch, Jr.
I try not to consider What will become of you and me When our time here is over And we both have to leave.
I can try to deny or ignore it, Whichever be the case, But no matter how hard I try, This question stares me in the face.
Sometimes I think that maybe It would've been best if we Had never even met; Then I would be free,
But to be prisoner to this love, Even with uncertainty, Makes me less a captive Than if I were free.
I only know the past, And the future's yet unseen, So while we're here together, Spend the present with me.
The other thing that strikes me about this letter is my redundant use of the phrase, "You get the picture?" When I write, I try to pay attention to words and phrases that are repeated and, when I find them, I change them to other words and phrases. Apparently, back then, I wasn't paying that much attention! I talked about turning 40 and feeling like I was fading into the background (I grayed early), accentuated by having my driver's license picture taken against a light blue background. Sort of like wearing camo in the woods. But that physical evidence only amplified what I was feeling emotionally. And I said, "you get the picture?". I also talked about the marvelous opportunity that was afforded my husband when he went on a medical missionary trip to Mexico and made false teeth for poor people there. I did not get to go and that disappointment was compounded by the fact that we moved into a new house (to us) and one or two days later he left on the trip. I was left to pick up the pieces, so to speak, with unpacking and everything that goes along with a move. Again, I said, "you get the picture?".
The whole idea behind that phrase is that I know you, my readers, can relate. You can probably think of examples and experiences in your life that are very similar to mine. And that fact gives me comfort. I'm not alone in this world. You really do "get the picture!" So why should I ever have a pity party? And I think that's what the writer of Ecclesiastes was pointing out when he said, in chapter 1, verse 9, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun." Somebody, somewhere, has already experienced what I am experiencing right now. Isn't that neat? If we need help, we've just got to find the right person.
And . . . in light of that fact also, we need to offer the benefit of our experiences to others so they won't feel alone and out-numbered in their life either.
For 13 years now I have participated in an annual Mother-Daughter Banquet at our church, and, for 3 years now we've also had a Mother-Son Banquet. For this year we combined the two banquets due to scheduling conflicts. Our combined themes were: My Sister's Keeper and My Brother's Keeper.
Our focus was this:
All women have problems that they are afraid, or too embarrassed, to talk about. Many have the exact same problems. They suffer in silence, feeling they are all alone in the world. If we would just dare to become vulnerable to each other, we would find a wealth of support and empathy in our sisters around us. The unique friendships of women offer a web, or network, of support unparalleled in humankind. Women connect with other women on an emotional level. They have a gift for intimacy. Even as little girls they openly show more affection to their friends than do little boys. They share confidences. Why not take advantage of those natural tendencies in the friendships of women and lean on each other in our times of trouble? Who knows, our burdens may seem a little lighter, when we realize that we're really not all that different from each other.
Men are different. They connect differently. When the biblical question was posed: "Am I my brother's keeper?" it indicated a feeling of responsibility. The answer, of course, was an unspoken, but loudly understood "YES!" We are focusing on the Mentoring aspect of men's relationships with other men. Especially older to younger. If one generation fails to mentor and train the next generation, where will we find ourselves? Mentoring occurs in big, as well as small ways. And the terms "older" and "younger" can also apply to spiritual age as well, without regards to physical age.
We had three very excellent segments given by two dear ladies in our church and one man - my husband. These dealt with, first: Secrets Women Keep (I'm Hurting and I Wish Someone Knew); We're Not All That Different (I've Got the Same Problems); and I Am My Brother's Keeper (with a focus on Mentoring). They were all wonderful, but I didn't write them so I'm not publishing them here (maybe later, with their permission).
We did an activity set to the song "Lean On Me" where different individuals stood and voiced a problem in their lives that they faced that caused them distress of some kind and then one or two other individuals who had faced a similar situation offered support by word and action, saying, "Lean on me, when you're not strong! I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on!" And with other words of their own.
My topic was "Creating a Web of Support" and I offer it here for your enjoyment.
Not long ago I took part in a personal development program that involved taking a very hard look at my life: my past, my present, and my future. It called for some rather deep contemplation on what my life had been up to this point by looking at where I'd come from: regrets of the past, things I wished I had and had not done. Through a series of worksheets and blog posts, I was required to write my own obituary and my epitaph. I identified my core values, wrote a mission statement and a vision statement. I attempted to identify my strengths, my weaknesses, my opportunities and my threats. All of this was very difficult because I took it very seriously. I would, however, recommend it to anyone . . . if you have the guts. Up to this point, it was me looking at me.
Then came the really hard part.
In order to get what they call a 360 degree view, I had to ask three people, who knew me well, to be bruttaly honest with me and answer three two-part questions about me. I needed them to be extremely frank with me because, if they didn't, it wouldn't be of any use to me at all. You see, I was to pick one or two things that they saw as a shortcoming and work on those things for the next year.
The questions dealt with what they thought was my best quality and what skills and attributes I had that they felt gave me an advantage in life. Then, what is my worst quality and, if I could improve one thing to help me better succeed, what would it be. And finally, where they saw me sabotaging myself and what behaviors, lack of discipline or attitudes they felt held me back the most.
Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, some of their answers, between the three people, where the same. However, one was slightly different. Now, mind you, I've been told this before . . . in different words. . . but when I was told before, I wasn't trying to be creative and overcome this issue, because I didn't think I could. I didn't know how. I felt helpless. I thought it was just the way it was.
Now, I'm going to give you the full answer, but I'm going to focus on one part of it. The question was: What is my worst quality? The answer: "Reserved or distant at times. Reluctant to speak what you are really thinking. Your kindness probably prevents you from doing this." And the second part of the question: If I could improve just one thing about myself to help me better succeed with people and in life, what do you think it should be? And the answer: "I believe some people feel inferior or intimidated (actually jealous) around you because you are talented, bright and intelligent. (Their problem, not yours.) Help people feel at ease and confident around you."
Several weeks ago I was praying in the altar with everyone else, and we had several women getting prayer and I thought about the fact that all these women, my sisters in Christ, had problems that I knew nothing about. It occurred to me, also, that they might be the same problems that I have. Then I thought about the woman with the issue of blood. I'm absolutely sure she didn't talk about her problem to anybody -- other than those "many" physicians. She suffered in silence. We've been talking here (previously in the meeting) about being our sister's keeper and being our brother's keeper. We've discussed the fact that we all have problems, that we feel isolated and all alone, and we often don't take advantage of the support that is available to us. We've heard about the responsibility of the mentor in a man to other men. What I want to look at is why are we afraid to reach out for help. Why do individuals fail to receive mentoring when it's offered? I believe, a lot of times, the answer is contained in my friend's answers to me. Others see us as unapproachable, inaccessible. They feel intimidated by us. I mean, its not that we intend to come across that way, but we just do. So what do we do about it? That answer is also contained in my friend's answer: "Help people feel at ease and confident around you." And you do that by learning how to connect with people.
How many of you like spiders? I don't like spiders but I admire spiders. They are amazing creatures. They are masters of the "Law of Attraction"! They create this intricate, beautiful, delicate, but incredibly strong and effective, web in which they catch their prey. They actually do it to harm their victims, but I want us to look at it as a way to draw in those that need us and need our support. A spider web is made up of many connections. And that's what I want to talk about today: Connecting. And the way I want to relate it to a spider web is that when we learn how to connect, we teach, by example, and others learn to do the same thing and eventually, we have this intricate, beautiful, delicate, but incredibly strong and effective, web to catch those that are falling and need to be supported by our love and compassion. There should never be one who goes out from our midst, hurting and alone, who needs our support and we didn't give it!
So what is connecting? I've been reading a book by John C. Maxwell, titled "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect", and I highly recommend it! (quotes are in italics) Dr. Maxwell says that "Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them." He affirms that "the success of your relationships is determined by how well you can connect." In reading this book, it occurred to me that Jesus is, and was, the Master Connector, and I think you will come to understand that. Obviously, the women with the issue of blood was not afraid to approach Jesus. Even though she was, in her condition, considered unclean and no one was to touch her. Somehow she knew that she could go to Jesus . . . and, yes, even touch Him! She knew instinctively that He wouldn't turn her away.
Just because you are talking to someone or going back and forth doesn't mean you are connecting. Communicating and connecting are two very different things. As mothers and fathers, you can probably understand it better by thinking about your children. Have you ever felt like you just weren't getting through to them? When you see that "light" of understanding go on in their eyes, you will have finally connected! There is an invisible barrier between you and whomever you're talking to and you have to break through that barrier to really connect. You can tell when someone is really getting what you are saying . . . and, also, when they've turned you off!
The ability to connect begins with understanding the value of people. It's all about others! It's never about me (or you, as the case may be.)
The principles behind connecting are: 1) focusing on others; 2) realizing that it goes beyond just mere words, but includes actions, attitudes, behavior, and body language; 3) being willing to put forth the effort and energy required to make that connection; and 4) learning from those who know how it's done.
You have to find common ground. Keep your communication simple, capture their interest, inspire them, but, above all, be real.
Talk more about the other person and less about yourself. Bring something of value to the conversation. Ask if there is anything you can do for them. Jesus always gave His full attention to the individual, offering compassion, help and healing to them . . . at the point of their need. And He always asked them if He could do something for them . . . ."wilt thou be made whole?"
I love this quote: "If you want to connect to others, you have to get over yourself." Almost everything we become and all that we accomplish in life are the result of our interaction with others. You have to tear down the "ego" wall and use those very same stones to build a bridge of warm compassionate relationship.
I mentioned before, you have to find common ground. It's difficult to find common ground with others when you're the only person you're focused on! And there are barriers you have to overcome in order to find common ground. You cannot assume anything. You can't put people in a box. People have different temperaments and that is not going to change. I've said this for years: Everybody thinks differently and just because someone is acting in a certain way doesn't mean they are thinking the way you would be thinking if you acted that way. You have to work at understanding others. You cannot be arrogant. We need each other. You cannot be indifferent. Comedian George Carlin joked, "Scientists announced today that they had found a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest bit of interest in it." Indifference is really a form of selfishness. The final barrier to overcome is control. Finding common ground is a two-way street. You have to be open. It has to be give and take.
If you want to help people and truly make a connection with them, you have to communicate an attitude of selflessness . . . not selfishness. If you can learn to care about others, you can learn to connect. You have to forget about your own worries and needs and focus on the other person's. Calvin Miller says, when most people listen to others speak, they are silently thinking:
"I am loneliness waiting for a friend, I am weeping in want of laughter, I am a sigh in search of consolation, I am a wound in search of healing. If you want to unlock my attention, You have to convince me you want to be my friend."
They have to believe that you really care.
Whether you, or even the other person, realize it or not, when you communicate with someone, they are asking three questions about you: 1) Do you really care for me?: 2) Can you really help me?; and 3) Can I trust you? That's a big one.
If you can make that other person feel valued, then you will have connected.
And your message must be sincere. It must contain a piece of you. You must be the message. It's been said that "nothing can happen through you until it happens to you." I like the word "empathy". What's the difference between sympathy and empathy? Webster's describes sympathy as "the sharing in the emotions of others, especially the sharing of grief, pain, etc.; a feeling for the ills, difficulties, etc. of others." But empathy is described as "the power to enter into the feeling or spirit of others." Sympathy can almost vie a sense of detachment, but empathy requires total involvement. And it's all a function of attitude. Dr. Maxwell says, "Attitudes are the real figures of speech." People know if you care. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What you are speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you say."
We did a little exercise earlier showing both sides of this subject: individuals identifying a problem they had, voicing it to their brothers and sisters, and others responding with offers of support. One thing that made those responses extra convincing was that those same problems had happened to both individuals. But I think you will also have to agree that the feeling of sincerity was genuine. We were focusing on each other's problems, rather than our own. And I have just barely touched the surface of this subject of connecting, but it's a start. It's a place for us to begin and, to quote Saint Francis of Assisi via John Maxwell, "Start doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
At the end I invited everyone to take hold of a gigantic spider web that I had made with the help of my husband and mother, in another activity to give a visual for what I was talking about and we sang the song:
You're my brother, you're my sister, So take me by the hand: Together we will work until He comes! There's no foe that can defeat us When we're walking side by side. As long as there is love we will stand!
And I want to extend the same sentiment to you, my Reader: Lean on me . . . . I'll be your friend!
I hope you didn't think I had forgotten you because I haven't. Every year I think that I couldn't be busier and then the next year I'm busier. I have realized this year, however, that I am going to have to slow down. I've learned so much about the value of time this year because it seems I have had a shortage of it. I've started this letter twice and was not happy with it so maybe "third time's a charm."
And so began my next letter . . . .
The sad thing is that I've lost a page out of this one and I know what I lost was very important. The paragraph at the end of page one goes like this:
"We've received excellent "instructions in righteousness" from our Pastor. He has been very instrumental in helping us see some things that we knew all along but seemed to ignore. We've set some goals in our lives this year and are striving to obtain them. It is amazing how God seems to go to work for you when you try to do the right thing. I mentioned time before. Bro. T has . . . . . . ."
. . . . . . . .and the next page is missing. I can only surmise what I wrote, but obviously it had something to do with time. . . and the value of time. This got me to thinking.
How much is time worth? Can you actually put a monetary value on time. Of course, from a marketing perspective, your time is commiserate with your training. A doctor's time or a lawyer's time is worth more than a data entry clerk's time, for instance. I submit, on the other hand, that time is priceless. Time lost is time lost forever. My time is as valuable to me as any specialized surgeon's time. The Bible instructs us to "Redeem the time". Here's my take on some of the more familiar "time" phrases you may know:
Time management. There is no such thing as time management. There is only self-management of the time available. (Don't know who said this first.)
Time flies. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Birthdays seem to come at an ever increasing rate but I've still got a year to pay on that two-year note that I feel like I've been paying on for five years. My grandbabies were just born yesterday even though they're five and three. Hey, their daddy, my son, was just starting kindergarten yesterday!
Time and Tide wait for no man. ~ Mark Twain. I think he, himself aptly put this one to rights: "A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast, we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide." "Electric wires and water-ballast?" Boy, Mr. Twain, if you could see us now!
No time like the present. And, don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Time is too precious to waste.
Time changes everything . . .
The writer of Ecclesiastes had a pretty clear grasp of what time is and the best way to utilize time. Put everything in its own time.
"For everything is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
Henry David Thoreau said, about wasting time, "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity." Oh, if we could ever really grasp this, what awesome things we could accomplish. You must realize the value of time. Understand this: time spent in relaxation and rejuvenation is not wasted time. But don't masquerade time spent in pointless pursuits and time-robbing activities as relaxation and rejuvenation time! All activities, or non-activities, should have a true purpose and focus. And I'm preaching to the choir here. And I'm a member. Reading a book is much more rewarding, relaxing, and rejuvenating than playing a video game. Taking a nap is far more relaxing and rejuvenating than watching a television program. Actually, a task accomplished, finished, and done is way more relaxing and rejuvenating than procrastinating about it!
I, for one, want to look for ways to make better use of my time. That is not to say that I will never mess up. But I want to manage "me" in the time that is available to me so that my time will be the maximum value that it deserves.
I like what Benjamin Franklin said: "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of." And finally, from Captain Jean-Luc Picard: "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind us is not as important as how we have lived."
Did you think I'd left you? I guess you might say I've had a case of writer's block but it really was more an issue of distractions. I apologize. I won't let it happen again. I'm working on myself (as I've said before) and that is a very important point about what I want to write about today - leadership.
I've been thinking alot about this lately and reading many articles, listening to CDs, reading books and generally contemplating about just what leadership is. Obviously, there's an extreme amount of information out there for anybody to see and study if they want to be a leader.
Just a few examples (and links - for your reading enjoyment):
Darren Hardy, Publisher and Editorial Director of SUCCESS Magazine states that someone is a leader . . ."when he or she is willing to do what others are not, even when -- and maybe most especially when -- the right thing to do might not be what's popular." He says: Leaders are doers. Leaders . . . . lead. The Unpopular View of Leadership
John C. Maxwell, America's foremost expert on leadership, best-selling author, speaker and founder of EQUIP, a nonprofit that has trained more than 5 million leaders in 126 countries, has much to say about the subject. He avows that time management (actually an oxymoron - it's really self-management) is the most important aspect of leadership: "Nothing separates successful people from unsuccessful people more than how they use their time." He also says leaders see the vision of their dream clearly, have a strategy on what it will take to get there, and have prioritized the steps it will take to make it happen.
Mel Robbins, nationally syndicated radio talk show host, speaks of a "leadership gene". I don't think we are born with one (the gene) but, if we lead, we will do it on purpose and by effort. She says, "Leadership is . . . taking the lead." (Back to doing what others are not willing to do.) Robbins writes, "A true leader leaves the bathroom cleaner than they found it." Maybe a little humorous, but extremely true. The Leadership Gene
Chris Widener, best-selling author, tv co-host, and candidate for U.S. Senator for the state of Washington, says that, "Leadership is influence." On this topic, he quoted John Maxwell who said, "If you think you are a leader and no one is following you - you're not really a leader, you're just taking a walk."
Perhaps my favorite is Robin Sharma, litigation lawyer turned leadership coach, when he says, "You cannot lead others until you have first learned to lead yourself." Robin Sharma Leads Without A Title He quotes actor Steve Martin, who, when asked how a person could be as well-known as he is, replied, "Be so good at what you do that people cannot ignore you." Robin's dad told him, "When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life so that, when you die, the world will cry while you rejoice." I love that! Sharma states that "the world is in a crises of leadership." I do not believe truer words have ever been spoken - of the time we live in. He encourages "leadership at all levels:" being a leader in whatever position of life you are in by giving it your all: adding value, cutting costs, "wowing" the customer and being innovative. He admits that leadership is not without its struggles and difficulties. BUT! He says, "Your next level of excellence is hidden behind your next level of resistance." and "You really don't grow unless you grow closer to your areas of discomfort." If you don't fall (fail), you're not getting better.
My question is: what does personal leadership entail? I think leaders are learners. I think leaders know how to follow and what it is to follow. Leaders listen. (They don't have five mouths and no ears.) Leaders are examples . . . . of good habits. (Actually the opposite is also true but I'm talking about good leadership.) Leaders take risks - calculated ones - they consider the cost. Leaders are always striving for excellence in their personal lives so that they can affect the lives of others. Leaders are servants. Leaders realize that the authority arrow (downward on the organizational chart) is also a responsibility arrow (upward) and that submission is a two-way street.
If you want to be a leader . . . . then lead. What do you admire in the leaders you know? What disciplines do they exhibit. Do those things. And when you do, no one will have to ask, "Are you a leader?"
Where does all this dust come from?! It seems I can dust my furniture and, in a matter of a few hours, there is this light dusting of . . . dust! Right back where I banished it from! Why me, Lord? Can't furniture stay dusted for just a day? And leave it to me to want a black ebony miniature baby grand piano in my front room and a matching black shelving unit to stand right beside it! Nothing . . . I mean, nothing . . . shows dust like black furniture! And, not only do I dust, but I run my Thermax Vacuum in the room that I dust for at least 30 minutes to remove (hopefully) any dust from the air! But does that make a difference? Obviously not! And come to find out, I'm not the only one who has this problem! My BFF remarks about it as well! So it must be a universal problem.
Now, one possible reason for the dust could be that you live on a dirt road. I do know that makes a difference. But! I don't live on a dirt road. I've come to the conclusion that my problem with dust is because I live in an old house. There are places in and around my house that I am afraid to go. Actually, there are two places: in the attic and under the floor. I have never been either place, although I have looked under the house. You could not pay me to go into my attic. For one thing, we have an ongoing battle with red wasps every year and they love my attic! No place for me! I'm sure that, because of normal wear and tear and deterioration of materials dust gets worse as a house ages. This is due partly to normal processes but also probably to lack of upkeep and repair. A lot of the time, things are let go until necessity forces you to take action and update such things as flooring, plumbing, roofing, etc., etc., etc.! I know old carpet is a major culprit in the battle against dust - no matter how good a vacuum you have!
I think I can draw a spiritual parallel here. Many times, in our spiritual walk, we allow things to go and we don't maintain our relationship with our Creator like we should. Our prayer life gets lax and we don't read the Word as often as we should. (I'm preaching to the choir here [metaphorically speaking] and I'm a member.) Then, all of the sudden, our lives get really dusty! We realize it and we try to do a little "dusting" and it works for a little while but, before long, we're right back where we were before. Revival comes along and we get all spiritual and our "furniture" sparkles! Revival is over and life comes rushing back in and so does the dust.
What is spiritual dust? No joy. Tension and stress in the home and in our marriages. Depression. Doubt. All the works of the flesh: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like . . . You ask, "Is it possible for a Christian to be plagued with these things?" Well, all I can say is that Paul wrote the book of Galatians to the Church at Galatia and thus to the Church today, so. . . I guess so. Remember that the spirit of these works are present long before any action is ever taken. I would say, it is imperative that you and I keep the spiritual dust out of our lives!
Where does all this dust come from? It is, indeed, facilitated by the enemy of our soul but it comes from our lack of upkeep!
Before I begin this post I wanted to address my readers. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. I invite you to please leave comments if something clicks with you or you have something to share that may have come to mind because of something I said. Interaction with you is what I am reaching for in this venue. Thank you, again, for sharing this time with me!
My intention with this blog was and is to "immortalize" my annual Christmas letters in the midst of all the other posts containing my current thoughts. I plan to take one letter a month and use how ever many number of posts it takes to cover that year's letter. This is a new month and so I move to Christmas 1997. I did touch on this letter briefly in an earlier post, but extremely briefly.
It is sometimes quite amusing, in looking back at the plans I made . . . and the assumptions. Most people never have to "own up" to those type of things because they didn't write it down. When something is on paper, it's hard to deny it. But it just proves that the best laid plans are very subject to change . . . and that without notice! It also proves my overall point: that life is a journey and it is all about "becoming". Thankfully, His plan for me, is HIS plan: not mine. And the more I discover about the past that I didn't know at the time, the more thankful I am that God is in control of my life.
My second letter was largely in part a bragging session about my son. And I quote: "Speaking of my son. This is where I begin to brag. During the summer, we decided that we would allow him to go back to public school for his last year. We felt that we had given him a good solid basic education and that he would not be hurt academically and the experiences would be good for him. So far we've been right. He has made principle's honor roll every time and the teachers cannot say enough good about him. I think there have only been about three times that his name and/or his picture has not been in the local paper since school began. He is involved in the band with his saxophone and doing very well with that. He has had solo parts in the new pieces that the marching band has done this year for the ball games. He is a member of the High School Chorus, the bass singer for the men's quartet, and participates and has a solo in the show choir. He performed in the school talent show with his saxophone (as well as other singing groups) and received the only standing ovation of the show. Do I sound like a proud parent or a bragging mother - or what? He is very popular and, I am proud to say, that he is that way without compromising. These things, however, are not what I am most proud of him about. Inasmuch as our soul purpose for being on this earth is to worship and serve God, it gives me great pleasure to know that there is a definite calling in my son's life, although I cannot say what the full extent of that calling is, and he is acknowledging that calling. It goes without saying that a big part of that calling is in music, which I feel is a direct gift from God for me. My son is going to be able to fulfill dreams that I had and was not able to fulfill. He will go far beyond any place I would have been able to attain to, however. God is using him greatly to write and arrange songs as well as poetry. He is also opening doors for him to pursue his dreams of having his songs published and possibly becoming a recording artist. We recently visited Belmont University in Nashville,TN which is where we hope he will be able to attend, the Lord willing. Belmont is the leading University for the music industry and many well-known people in music ministry attended there as well as other secular recording artists. The school has many advantages. There is an 11 to 1 student to teacher ratio and it has an excellent reputation. The school is, however, very expensive, but we will be applying for academic as well as performance scholarships and every grant, etc. that we can. (My husband says, "Everyone who receives this letter, send $5; duplicate the letter 5 times and sent it out." Ha! Ha! Very funny!) Seriously, we are looking to God to provide and we know He will. We will keep you posted - maybe one day you can say, "I know him." I hope I haven't bored you with my bragging." end quote.
Needless to say, many of those grandiose plans we made never came to fruition. But do I think that we failed because they didn't? Absolutely not! God has a plan for our lives. His ways are not our ways. We cannot even begin to imagine the things we might face if our lives took the path that we desired. I'm extremely proud of my son. He's no big recording artist. He still writes awesome songs that I firmly believe will one day be published and perhaps performed by big names. He may not even think that that period of time was his finest hour but his father and I believed in him . . . . and we still do. I can see the hand of God in his life all through these, soon to be, 30 years. King David, in the Bible, was not a perfect man. But he had a heart for God. He desired a relationship with God. And the Bible says he was a man after God's own Heart. He made his plans but when God changed those plans, he accepted it, realizing God knows best.
There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams. Just remember you must be flexible: allowing for God to work His plan in you. That way, you won't be surprised, or shaken, when you discover your plans: subject to change . . . without notice!
I finally understand why my Mother threw the Monopoly Game away! I totally didn't understand it at 13 but now, at 52, I finally understand! All these years I thought it was so unfair! I thought, there had to be a better way for her to get her point across! My favorite game! It was so valuable! How could she???
I guess you want some background. I have an older brother: 3 years my senior. That would have made him about 16 at the time. Just imagine: a 16 year old boy with a 13 year old sister. A very strong willed 13 year old little sister! Capitalize "sibling rivalry"! We did get along on occasion but we had our "bouts"! I don't remember a whole lot about the situation in question, except that we were playing Monopoly and we were having some "disagreements". About what, I don't remember. I do remember lots of "disagreements", though. Onlookers might have thought we were "mildly violently dangerous". It's comical now but it wasn't then. I know. Those of you who know me now are rolling in the floor! (ROTFLOL!) I remember a few times when sharp pointed objects were "brandished" (but never used, thankfully). This particular time, whatever the disagreement was about, I just remember reaching over and grabbing my brother's nose and twisting! He ended up with a blister on the end of his nose! Quit laughing! I guess my mother had had all she could take! She took that game and threw it in the trash! Of all the indignities! How could she???
They say that we pay for our "own raising" when we have kids of our own. I was mercifully spared the trials of sibling rivalry with my children because I only had one. I realize now there are benefits to not having more than one child. But, I now have grandchildren! With all the glories and wonders that grandparenting holds, but also with all the added "benefits" of learning what it is like to have more than one child at a time! I have the privilege of caring for my two granddaughters: 5 and 3 year olds. Extremely strong willed little girls. Very different from each other but very much their own "persons"! The oldest, Rachel, has been dubbed "Drama Queen", a title which she proudly claims. We thought that the youngest, Jordan, was going to be the mild-mannered, sweet little pixie, but I think "urchin" may become a better description as time goes on! I love them to death! They are the joy of my life! But, as I told a friend the other day, I have to repent all the time because I get so mad at them! I'm trying to teach them good values: how to get along, how to control their emotions and reactions, how to find more creative ways to express their frustrations, how to be sweet and kind, how to be good little girls. I think that I should do this because I'm beginning to think that perhaps some of their "drama-ness" may have been inherited . . . . . from their Mamoo.
Just this morning, the "drama queen" was voicing her frustrations (thankfully not towards her sister) and she acted like she was going to throw a half-way expensive toy simply because it didn't do what she wanted it to do, and I instinctively said, "If you throw that, I'm going to throw it away and you'll never see it again!" And it hit me: I finally understand why my mother threw the Monopoly Game away!
