The Value of Time

Christmas 1998.

Dear Loved One and friends, both old and new,

     I hope you didn't think I had forgotten you because I haven't.  Every year I think that I couldn't be busier and then the next year I'm busier.  I have realized this year, however, that I am going to have to slow down.  I've learned so much about the value of time this year because it seems I have had a shortage of it.  I've started this letter twice and was not happy with it so maybe "third time's a charm."

And so began my next letter . . . .

The sad thing is that I've lost a page out of this one and I know what I lost was very important.  The paragraph at the end of page one goes like this:

     "We've received excellent "instructions in righteousness" from our Pastor.  He has been very instrumental in helping us see some things that we knew all along but seemed to ignore.  We've set some goals in our lives this year and are striving to obtain them.  It is amazing how God seems to go to work for you when you try to do the right thing.  I mentioned time before.  Bro. T has . . . . . . ." 

. . . . . . . .and the next page is missing.  I can only surmise what I wrote, but obviously it had something to do with time. . . and the value of time.  This got me to thinking.

How much is time worth?  Can you actually put a monetary value on time.  Of course, from a marketing perspective, your time is commiserate with your training.  A doctor's time or a lawyer's time is worth more than a data entry clerk's time, for instance.  I submit, on the other hand, that time is priceless.  Time lost is time lost forever.  My time is as valuable to me as any specialized surgeon's time.  The Bible instructs us to "Redeem the time".    Here's my take on some of the more familiar "time" phrases you may know:

Time management.  There is no such thing as time management.  There is only self-management of the time available.  (Don't know who said this first.)

Time flies.  Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.  Birthdays seem to come at an ever increasing rate but I've still got a year to pay on that two-year note that I feel like I've been paying on for five years.    My grandbabies were just born yesterday even though they're five and three.  Hey, their daddy, my son, was just starting kindergarten yesterday! 

Time and Tide wait for no man. ~ Mark Twain.  I think he, himself aptly put this one to rights:  "A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast, we turn it around:  Man waits not for time nor tide."   "Electric wires and water-ballast?"  Boy, Mr. Twain, if you could see us now!

No time like the present.  And, don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today.  Time is too precious to waste.

Time changes everything . . .

The writer of Ecclesiastes had a pretty clear grasp of what time is and the best way to utilize time.  Put everything in its own time.

"For everything is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."  

Henry David Thoreau said, about wasting time, "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."   Oh, if we could ever really grasp this, what awesome things we could accomplish.  You must realize the value of time.  Understand this:  time spent in relaxation and rejuvenation is not wasted time.  But don't masquerade time spent in pointless pursuits and time-robbing activities as relaxation and rejuvenation time!  All activities, or non-activities, should have a true purpose and focus.  And I'm preaching to the choir here.  And I'm a member.  Reading a book is much more rewarding, relaxing, and rejuvenating than playing a video game.  Taking a nap is far more relaxing and rejuvenating than watching a television program.  Actually, a task accomplished, finished, and done is way more relaxing and rejuvenating than procrastinating about it!

I, for one, want to look for ways to make better use of my time.  That is not to say that I will never mess up.  But I want to manage "me" in the time that is available to me so that my time will be the maximum value that it deserves.

I like what Benjamin Franklin said:  "Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of."  And finally, from Captain Jean-Luc Picard:  "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey.  It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again.  What we leave behind us is not as important as how we have lived."

What is the Value of Time to you?

Are You A Leader?

Did you think I'd left you?  I guess you might say I've had a case of writer's block but it really was more an issue of distractions.  I apologize.  I won't let it happen again.  I'm working on myself (as I've said before) and that is a very important point about what I want to write about today - leadership. 

I've been thinking alot about this lately and reading many articles, listening to CDs, reading books and generally contemplating about just what leadership is.  Obviously, there's an extreme amount of information out there for anybody to see and study if they want to be a leader.

Just a few examples (and links - for your reading enjoyment):

Darren Hardy, Publisher and Editorial Director of SUCCESS Magazine states that someone is a leader . . ."when he or she is willing to do what others are not, even when -- and maybe most especially when -- the right thing to do might not be what's popular."   He says:  Leaders are doers.  Leaders . . . . lead.   The Unpopular View of Leadership

John C. Maxwell, America's foremost expert on leadership, best-selling author, speaker and founder of EQUIP, a nonprofit that has trained more than 5 million leaders in 126 countries, has much to say about the subject.  He avows that time management (actually an oxymoron - it's really self-management) is the most important aspect of leadership:  "Nothing separates successful people from unsuccessful people more than how they use their time."  He also says leaders see the vision of their dream clearly, have a strategy on what it will take to get there, and have prioritized the steps it will take to make it happen.

Mel Robbins, nationally syndicated radio talk show host, speaks of a "leadership gene".  I don't think we are born with one (the gene) but, if we lead, we will do it on purpose and by effort.  She says, "Leadership is . . . taking the lead."  (Back to doing what others are not willing to do.)  Robbins writes, "A true leader leaves the bathroom cleaner than they found it."  Maybe a little humorous, but extremely true.   The Leadership Gene

Chris Widener, best-selling author, tv co-host, and candidate for U.S. Senator for the state of Washington, says that, "Leadership is influence."  On this topic, he quoted John Maxwell who said, "If you think you are a leader and no one is following you - you're not really a leader, you're just taking a walk."

Perhaps my favorite is Robin Sharma, litigation lawyer turned leadership coach, when he says, "You cannot lead others until you have first learned to lead yourself."   Robin Sharma Leads Without A Title   He quotes actor Steve Martin, who, when asked how a person could be as well-known as he is, replied, "Be so good at what you do that people cannot ignore you."  Robin's dad told him, "When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced.  Live your life so that, when you die, the world will cry while you rejoice."  I love that!  Sharma states that "the world is in a crises of leadership."  I do not believe truer words have ever been spoken - of the time we live in.  He encourages "leadership at all levels:"  being a leader in whatever position of life you are in by giving it your all: adding value, cutting costs, "wowing" the customer and being innovative.  He admits that leadership is not without its struggles and difficulties.  BUT!  He says, "Your next level of excellence is hidden behind your next level of resistance." and "You really don't grow unless you grow closer to your areas of discomfort."   If you don't fall (fail), you're not getting better.

My question is: what does personal leadership entail?  I think leaders are learners.  I think leaders know how to follow and what it is to follow.  Leaders listen.  (They don't have five mouths and no ears.)  Leaders are examples . . . . of good habits.  (Actually the opposite is also true but I'm talking about good leadership.)  Leaders take risks - calculated ones - they consider the cost.  Leaders are always striving for excellence in their personal lives so that they can affect the lives of others.  Leaders are servants.  Leaders realize that the authority arrow (downward on the organizational chart) is also a responsibility arrow (upward) and that submission is a two-way street. 

If you want to be a leader . . . . then lead.  What do you admire in the leaders you know?  What disciplines do they exhibit.  Do those things.  And when you do, no one will have to ask, "Are you a leader?"

Where Does All This Dust Come From?!

Where does all this dust come from?! It seems I can dust my furniture and, in a matter of a few hours, there is this light dusting of . . . dust! Right back where I banished it from! Why me, Lord? Can't furniture stay dusted for just a day? And leave it to me to want a black ebony miniature baby grand piano in my front room and a matching black shelving unit to stand right beside it! Nothing . . . I mean, nothing . . . shows dust like black furniture! And, not only do I dust, but I run my Thermax Vacuum in the room that I dust for at least 30 minutes to remove (hopefully) any dust from the air! But does that make a difference? Obviously not! And come to find out, I'm not the only one who has this problem! My BFF remarks about it as well! So it must be a universal problem.

Now, one possible reason for the dust could be that you live on a dirt road. I do know that makes a difference. But! I don't live on a dirt road. I've come to the conclusion that my problem with dust is because I live in an old house. There are places in and around my house that I am afraid to go. Actually, there are two places: in the attic and under the floor. I have never been either place, although I have looked under the house. You could not pay me to go into my attic. For one thing, we have an ongoing battle with red wasps every year and they love my attic! No place for me! I'm sure that, because of normal wear and tear and deterioration of materials dust gets worse as a house ages. This is due partly to normal processes but also probably to lack of upkeep and repair. A lot of the time, things are let go until necessity forces you to take action and update such things as flooring, plumbing, roofing, etc., etc., etc.! I know old carpet is a major culprit in the battle against dust - no matter how good a vacuum you have!

I think I can draw a spiritual parallel here. Many times, in our spiritual walk, we allow things to go and we don't maintain our relationship with our Creator like we should. Our prayer life gets lax and we don't read the Word as often as we should. (I'm preaching to the choir here [metaphorically speaking] and I'm a member.) Then, all of the sudden, our lives get really dusty! We realize it and we try to do a little "dusting" and it works for a little while but, before long, we're right back where we were before. Revival comes along and we get all spiritual and our "furniture" sparkles! Revival is over and life comes rushing back in and so does the dust.

What is spiritual dust? No joy. Tension and stress in the home and in our marriages. Depression. Doubt. All the works of the flesh: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like . . . You ask, "Is it possible for a Christian to be plagued with these things?" Well, all I can say is that Paul wrote the book of Galatians to the Church at Galatia and thus to the Church today, so. . . I guess so. Remember that the spirit of these works are present long before any action is ever taken. I would say, it is imperative that you and I keep the spiritual dust out of our lives!

Where does all this dust come from? It is, indeed, facilitated by the enemy of our soul but it comes from our lack of upkeep!

Plans: Subject to Change . . . Without Notice

Before I begin this post I wanted to address my readers. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. I invite you to please leave comments if something clicks with you or you have something to share that may have come to mind because of something I said. Interaction with you is what I am reaching for in this venue. Thank you, again, for sharing this time with me!

My intention with this blog was and is to "immortalize" my annual Christmas letters in the midst of all the other posts containing my current thoughts. I plan to take one letter a month and use how ever many number of posts it takes to cover that year's letter. This is a new month and so I move to Christmas 1997. I did touch on this letter briefly in an earlier post, but extremely briefly.

It is sometimes quite amusing, in looking back at the plans I made . . . and the assumptions. Most people never have to "own up" to those type of things because they didn't write it down. When something is on paper, it's hard to deny it. But it just proves that the best laid plans are very subject to change . . . and that without notice! It also proves my overall point: that life is a journey and it is all about "becoming". Thankfully, His plan for me, is HIS plan: not mine. And the more I discover about the past that I didn't know at the time, the more thankful I am that God is in control of my life.

My second letter was largely in part a bragging session about my son. And I quote: "Speaking of my son. This is where I begin to brag. During the summer, we decided that we would allow him to go back to public school for his last year. We felt that we had given him a good solid basic education and that he would not be hurt academically and the experiences would be good for him. So far we've been right. He has made principle's honor roll every time and the teachers cannot say enough good about him. I think there have only been about three times that his name and/or his picture has not been in the local paper since school began. He is involved in the band with his saxophone and doing very well with that. He has had solo parts in the new pieces that the marching band has done this year for the ball games. He is a member of the High School Chorus, the bass singer for the men's quartet, and participates and has a solo in the show choir. He performed in the school talent show with his saxophone (as well as other singing groups) and received the only standing ovation of the show. Do I sound like a proud parent or a bragging mother - or what? He is very popular and, I am proud to say, that he is that way without compromising. These things, however, are not what I am most proud of him about. Inasmuch as our soul purpose for being on this earth is to worship and serve God, it gives me great pleasure to know that there is a definite calling in my son's life, although I cannot say what the full extent of that calling is, and he is acknowledging that calling. It goes without saying that a big part of that calling is in music, which I feel is a direct gift from God for me. My son is going to be able to fulfill dreams that I had and was not able to fulfill. He will go far beyond any place I would have been able to attain to, however. God is using him greatly to write and arrange songs as well as poetry. He is also opening doors for him to pursue his dreams of having his songs published and possibly becoming a recording artist. We recently visited Belmont University in Nashville,TN which is where we hope he will be able to attend, the Lord willing. Belmont is the leading University for the music industry and many well-known people in music ministry attended there as well as other secular recording artists. The school has many advantages. There is an 11 to 1 student to teacher ratio and it has an excellent reputation. The school is, however, very expensive, but we will be applying for academic as well as performance scholarships and every grant, etc. that we can. (My husband says, "Everyone who receives this letter, send $5; duplicate the letter 5 times and sent it out." Ha! Ha! Very funny!) Seriously, we are looking to God to provide and we know He will. We will keep you posted - maybe one day you can say, "I know him." I hope I haven't bored you with my bragging." end quote.

Needless to say, many of those grandiose plans we made never came to fruition. But do I think that we failed because they didn't? Absolutely not! God has a plan for our lives. His ways are not our ways. We cannot even begin to imagine the things we might face if our lives took the path that we desired. I'm extremely proud of my son. He's no big recording artist. He still writes awesome songs that I firmly believe will one day be published and perhaps performed by big names. He may not even think that that period of time was his finest hour but his father and I believed in him . . . . and we still do. I can see the hand of God in his life all through these, soon to be, 30 years. King David, in the Bible, was not a perfect man. But he had a heart for God. He desired a relationship with God. And the Bible says he was a man after God's own Heart. He made his plans but when God changed those plans, he accepted it, realizing God knows best.

There is nothing wrong with pursuing your dreams. Just remember you must be flexible: allowing for God to work His plan in you. That way, you won't be surprised, or shaken, when you discover your plans: subject to change . . . without notice!

I Finally Understand Why My Mother Threw the Monopoly Game Away

I finally understand why my Mother threw the Monopoly Game away! I totally didn't understand it at 13 but now, at 52, I finally understand! All these years I thought it was so unfair! I thought, there had to be a better way for her to get her point across! My favorite game! It was so valuable! How could she???

I guess you want some background. I have an older brother: 3 years my senior. That would have made him about 16 at the time. Just imagine: a 16 year old boy with a 13 year old sister. A very strong willed 13 year old little sister! Capitalize "sibling rivalry"! We did get along on occasion but we had our "bouts"! I don't remember a whole lot about the situation in question, except that we were playing Monopoly and we were having some "disagreements". About what, I don't remember. I do remember lots of "disagreements", though. Onlookers might have thought we were "mildly violently dangerous". It's comical now but it wasn't then. I know. Those of you who know me now are rolling in the floor! (ROTFLOL!) I remember a few times when sharp pointed objects were "brandished" (but never used, thankfully). This particular time, whatever the disagreement was about, I just remember reaching over and grabbing my brother's nose and twisting! He ended up with a blister on the end of his nose! Quit laughing! I guess my mother had had all she could take! She took that game and threw it in the trash! Of all the indignities! How could she???

They say that we pay for our "own raising" when we have kids of our own. I was mercifully spared the trials of sibling rivalry with my children because I only had one. I realize now there are benefits to not having more than one child. But, I now have grandchildren! With all the glories and wonders that grandparenting holds, but also with all the added "benefits" of learning what it is like to have more than one child at a time! I have the privilege of caring for my two granddaughters: 5 and 3 year olds. Extremely strong willed little girls. Very different from each other but very much their own "persons"! The oldest, Rachel, has been dubbed "Drama Queen", a title which she proudly claims. We thought that the youngest, Jordan, was going to be the mild-mannered, sweet little pixie, but I think "urchin" may become a better description as time goes on! I love them to death! They are the joy of my life! But, as I told a friend the other day, I have to repent all the time because I get so mad at them! I'm trying to teach them good values: how to get along, how to control their emotions and reactions, how to find more creative ways to express their frustrations, how to be sweet and kind, how to be good little girls. I think that I should do this because I'm beginning to think that perhaps some of their "drama-ness" may have been inherited . . . . . from their Mamoo.

Just this morning, the "drama queen" was voicing her frustrations (thankfully not towards her sister) and she acted like she was going to throw a half-way expensive toy simply because it didn't do what she wanted it to do, and I instinctively said, "If you throw that, I'm going to throw it away and you'll never see it again!" And it hit me: I finally understand why my mother threw the Monopoly Game away!

His Way

There are so many things that have happened in the last few days. Extremes of emotions, from one end of the spectrum to the other, have kept me on a virtual roller coaster ride mentally. I've had trouble focusing on a single clear thought to be able to write about, so I just haven't. Written, that is. They buried my friend on Saturday and I was privileged to sing and play according to her wishes. I was reminded by the minister that we didn't need to worry about living a life full of many years but, more importantly, we should attempt to live years full of life. Then Saturday evening was a time of fun and friendship as my fellow Red Hat Sisters and I celebrated a belated Valentine's with our hubbys. All weekend I battled a physical condition, of which I will spare you the details, that, because of the sheer length of the time I have suffered with it, has tended to cause me mental depression. And then Sunday morning I was reminded of how much God loves me and that He still answers prayer. Since then I have rested on that knowledge as I carry the burden of the sufferings of those that I love and care about. The second paragraph in my second letter (Christmas 1997) says this, "I've learned some things this year: A person can be happy, even in the midst of hard times, God does love us and He is mindful of us at all times and in every situation, and family and friends are two of the most precious possessions a person can have. Of course, I knew these things before, but not like I know them now." I actually could repeat that paragraph every year, especially that last sentence. Why would I, or anyone for that matter, give up that security for something temporal?

The society we live in today is obsessed with the idea of being independent from God. The song, "I Did It My Way", is typical of the prevailing attitude of the masses. They don't think they need God. They think they're self-sufficient. The other buzz word we hear a lot these days is "Change". We need change. And change is what we are getting! In every arena, change is coming so fast that it is scary. I'll grant you, some change is good. If we're going in the wrong direction, we need to change. But what is the measuring tool with which we can determine if change is needed or not? I present to you, my opinion is this: if MY way runs parallel to HIS way, then I don't need to change. And the vice versa is true. I've seen so much "stuff" that masquerades as good when, all along, it is My Way. I guess we could call it the "New Good". I can't imagine how we could think we could improve on the most perfect proven system ever created!

I think one reason I have been feeling these extremes in emotion is that I have been working on myself for a while now, attempting to make myself better by examining my life to this point. I've taken a hard look at my past: my failures and my successes, my victories and defeats. Things I would change if I could do it over. Lessons I've learned and people and things that have influenced me. Risks taken, contributions made. Changes I need to make. I've looked at my "assets", both physical, mental, spiritual, tangible and intangible. I've considered what I would do if I had only 24 hours to live. I've looked at what I want my end to be. I've written my obituary. My epitaph. I've determined what are my core values. I've written a mission statement and a vision statement. I've interviewed myself and attempted to determine my strengths, weaknesses, obstacles and threats. Then I've interviewed others to get a picture of how they see me. I've tried to pick a few things that others see I need to work on to make them my project for the upcoming year. As you can imagine, the emotions evoked by all of this activity bring me to a particularly vulnerable state. There are certainly things in my life that I would like to change but then there are those things, core values, standards and beliefs that I wouldn't change for all the gold in the world. I see people making apparent "paradigm shifts" in areas that are "Landmark" in their importance. I don't understand how they can expect to get the same results with different actions.

There may indeed be an easier way but, all I know is that I want MY way to be HIS way.

Missing You

I lost a dear friend today. She has been fighting the fight of her life - for her life - in a city far away from her extended family and host of friends. Just over a month ago, she didn't even know that she was really sick. And now she's gone. She knew immediately, however, that her time was short and she began making plans. She was calm and serene - at least that is how she appeared in her posts on the internet and personal messages to me. I'm sure it was the same to every one she communicated with. She was always a giver. It not only was her profession (social work), but, by nature, she was a nurturer. She was always concerned about others. But she wasn't afraid to receive. So many times, people who give to an extreme, don't know how to receive. It's hard for me to explain, but, perhaps her own words, will give you a clearer picture of how she drew on the strength of those that loved her:

"in my fused world, on the left side of me is a small box, it sits just above my heart, and though it seems small, it never feels like the content ever changes. . . it is full of the prayers and love you have sent . . . when I need a prayer, I reach into the box and pull one out . . . it is very tiny, so I use my fingertips and . . . drop them onto my heart . . . this is where God has placed your prayers so I can find them . . . funny thing is that sometimes I can see your face. I love it! We cannot choose how we die, only how we live and I choose to live in Christ with the earthly help of each of you! Most tests today . . . love you all."

I don't know if that touches you in the way that it touches me, but I hope that I can face death with such tenderness. I've seen my friend go through some very dark times and I've seen her fight her way out of that blackness. She's not fighting anymore.

I'm missing you, my friend.